"I don't want to be in a relationship" talk

I saw this and this definitely explains how I feel. All of it.

He says, “He DOESN’T Want a Relationship” – What Does That Mean?

Posted by Nadine Piat

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Ladies listen carefully and never forget this…

When a man says he doesn’t want a relationship it means; HE DOES NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP now or with you… SIMPLE

A man tells you more about who he is and what he wants in the first two weeks of knowing him than he probably will in the proceeding weeks.  And unfortunately most women do not listen and pay attention to these clear indicators.

To all the broken hearted women out there who fell for the unavailable man – cry if you need to, grieve the fantasy, and then quickly move on… to a special and powerful place of self-love and new love.

It’s time to really get this valuable love lesson, and not only for your emotional wellbeing, this lesson will astronomically move you closer to REAL love, the kind of love that feels really good!

NOT… good, bad, good, terrible, painful, good, painful… that’s not how love is supposed to feel.

LOVE TIP:  PAY ATTENTION to how a man treats you and what he says, NOT what you WANT to hear or believe.

To make this all the more confusing; some men treat women well in general, even the women they sleep with yet don’t see a future with.  Most women assume that because he’s nice to her that he may want something more after all.

A good guy will tell you if he only wants something casual – what you do with that information is the difference between – frustration and hurt AND finding real commitment and love.

Women make a huge mistake by thinking one or more of the following:

• He’ll change his mind once he spends more time with me
• If the sex is good enough and I please him enough he’ll commit to me
• He’ll be ready for a relationship soon and I’ll be right here, cause I’m kind of like his girlfriend anyway
• He’s so nice to me it must mean he likes me

The moment a guy tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, although he likes you enough to hang out, BUT not interested in anything serious is the moment that defines all…

Why would a healthy minded, high value, gorgeous woman hang out with a man when he doesn’t want a relationship, WHEN SHE DOES?

Sometimes the guy really does like you although the timing is terrible, he’s just broken up with someone and/or still emotionally attached.  Some men won’t feel ready for commitment when certain areas of their life are not as they would like it to be, such as; not happy with his career, lost his job, not divorced yet, doesn’t feel as though he’s financial successful enough for something serious, etc.  It’s still the same thing – he doesn’t feel ready, therefore he’s not wanting a relationship right now.

Thank you 
http://healthyyouhealthylove.com/he-says-he-doesnt-want-a-relationship-what-does-that-mean/

Here are my tips for you:

1. Thank him for being upfront and honest
2. Decide if you want something casual or not
3. If you’re open to something casual you must know that that’s what it is.  Casual. Nothing more.
4. If not, be his friend only.  Do not sleep with him.  If he wants you in his life he needs to sort himself out.
5. Have NO expectations.  He may never sort himself or be ready.
6. Do NOT fantasize what it be like to be with him – he could be a terrible partner, so do not make up a story of how amazing he is.  You don’t know that.  Which leads to my next point…
7. You have your own life and catch up with him when it suits you only, he is NOT your priority
8. Date other men and do this properly, as your priority. Be OPEN to someone who’s ready for a relationship.
9. If you cannot spend time with him without having a strong yearning to be with him, or deep down you’re hoping that he’ll change his mind, then don’t see him at all.  Women make a good habit or torturing themselves.  Do not see him.  Move on. You have to trust that if he’s right for you, he will sort himself out and pursue you.  Hanging on like a bad smell doesn’t give him space to sort himself out.  You’ll still there HANGING ON to whatever he’ll give you.

The man worth your time is a man you will feel good around, safe, secure and appreciated.

A man who’s interested in a relationship with you will:

• Be happy to wait a while before having sex
• Wants to see you during the day, not just at night (or not just for a quickie)
• You may not have sex every time you see him (it’s not all about sex)
• He will want to see you on Friday and/or Saturday nights  (before 9pm!)
• After a few months he wants you to meet his friends and family
• He’ll talk about what you can do together in the future
• He’ll introduce you as his girlfriend (not as a “friend”)

So to all of the wonderful women who have fallen for Mr. Non-Commital, the lesson is – Listen and hear what he has said, pay attention to his actions, and when you know something isn’t feeling quite right then it probably isn’t.

Be strong enough to walk away from someone who doesn’t want the same things as you, and do so earlier rather than later.

You’re better off single and available for the right guy, not the guy who you want to be the right guy.

Materialistic

I feel like every girl are materialistic at some point in their life. They may not act it, but they think it. Many of the time they think, "oh i am not like everyone else, I am not materialistic." But trust me, if you're not, you wouldn't wish you were part of fairy tale sometimes, you wouldn't get jealous of other people's relationship being perfect, and you wouldn't have a wishlist or a what i am going to get, or what i am going to bribe my boyfriend or a guy in to getting for me. 

I guess the difference is whether you're on the high/point of no return materialistic or just a little materalistic here and there. And honestly i can see myself being in the middle, but not so much anymore now that I am with present because i know of his budget. 

But am I a materialistic person? My ex used to buy me everything I ever wanted because I never got whatever I wanted in my life when I live with my parents. My ex always wanted to compensate for the things I have lost by buying me things, and that is a very nice thing he is doing. He even got a tutoring job because he was unable to afford a lot of things in the relationship that he wanted to afford. He wanted to buy me nice things and take me to nice places and he really works hard for it. And I am honesty grateful for a boyfriend like that, I mean yeah he doesn’t have to actually work to pay off his new car, his dorm, and his tuition, but he does what he can for me because his mom only gives him limited allowance. He is unafraid to spend it all on me, when he is near broke, he still tries to buy me the best things. He watch out for me, and always put me first, and I guess I am used to that kind of care.

Now that I am with present, he doesn’t do the exact same thing as my past. I mean yes he cares for me and he does show lots of patience for me which my past didn’t. he would go out of his way and back in the days, put me even before his education. He valued me pretty high up the chain. Something not all boyfriend would ever do for their girlfriend, especially in these days?

But I guess you always compare it to other people’s best and worst. Sometimes I would think to myself and wonder in the end if this is all worth it. If choosing present was the right choice, because sometimes I feel like he values himself way more than me, and I guess in some sense it makes sense since if you don’t love yourself how can you love others. But then if you love others, won’t you always try to put them first?

When I am sick, when I am on my period, when my throat hurts and when I have a fever, depending on the condition my past would come barring gifts, not just any gifts but porridge or cough drops or food and medications. He would drive all the way from Burbank in the middle of the night in the middle of working on his projects just for me. He would make food and cook for me, and he would always tuck me in and make sure I am not cold when I sleep with him. And offer to take care of me and go stay at his dorm when I am sick because he knows no one would take care of me and no one would even know when I am sick.

On the other hand present sometimes gets me medication with water, he doesn’t offer to get me food when I am sick or constantly ask if I am okay. He doesn’t give me morning text to tell me to eat well and stay warm and dress in jackets. There’s just so much in so much past did that present never did that saddens me. i love my boyfriend, I love present, don’t get me wrong. He have so much flaws, he never cared for another as much as he did for me, I should be happy. I was his first that he have been so patient, so close, so understanding and gave so much chances to. I should be grateful and lucky.

I overlook all his flaws, his mistaken past because I love him, I care a lot for him and I know somewhere inside me I will never leave him. However sometimes I would just wish he’d be more caring in some aspects of life, and put me a little before him, just when I am sick or when I have my period.

Am I being materialistic when I get a little sad of the fact that asking my boyfriend for a item even though he is broke? He called me materialistic, but honestly comparing to how I was when I was with my ex, I don’t see myself being materialistic at all. I don’t even know anymore. What do I do?

Self, stop being ungrateful and be thankful that he have sticked around with you for this long. And I also understand that i shouldn't be comparing relationships since afterall, not all relationship are the same and non of them should be perfect. All relationship have flaws, and this was our flaw. I should embrace it and accept it. Maybe its for the betterment of mankind

Throwback them feels

I am listening to "想你的夜 - Miss You Nights (Jason Chen Cover)" from soundcloud, something I just recently got into. But then just from listening to the song, it brings out so much emotion from the inside. The past, the recent past, and the current, its been such a mix that even now I still don't know for certain what I am doing.

伤感好声音-Deejay Kenny

I am just going to be dropping off songs here and there for listening and emotions at that moment purposes. As many may figure now that I am asian and yes I do speak and understand Mandarin, but that is as much as I will go for now.

To be honest, I lived my life thinking about the stupidiest things, worry about the things I really don't need to worry and not worry about things I don't worry about. Thinking past, sometimes I really just want to close my eyes and escape from this world. From all my past experiences in relationship, I never really had a successful one that I looked back at and said, "wow, that was once an amazing relationship." I dropped the first relationship that meant the world to me and took me nearly a decade to get, and went for a loveless relationship. Of course that didn't turn out well as all, I mean if you are only in it for the benefit of the relationship  just exactly how much can you get out of that relationship?

記得

When I first started my first relationship, it was with my first true love in the United States. I loved him for the longest time. I loved him like no one else. The degree of love I had for him was beyond compare, but of course, I was too shy, and I guess I couldn't handle my emotions, I loved him to a point where I was afraid to get into a relationship with up, but of course you wouldn't want to lose him either. So I was stuck in this midpoint in which I am chasing him while making sure he doesn't notice I am chasing him and let him chases me.

彩虹 - A木B

It's really stupid to think about it, I waited 5, 6 years for this relationship. I kept myself away from him, acting upon my brainless brain rather than acting upon my heart. I remembered how happy I was when it first all started.

"Almost Lover"

"Almost Lover"

Your fingertips across my skin

The palm trees swaying in the wind

Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies

The sweetest sadness in your eyes

Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street

You took my hand and danced with me

Images

And when you left you kissed my lips

You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean

I cannot drive the streets at night

I cannot wake up in the morning

Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted

And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that easy

To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

=====

I don't know why, listening to this song is just making me sad, especially with all the things that are occurring as of now. All the stress that is passing by and all the moments where I go like where am I? Why am I doing this? What's wrong with me. I don't know if its finals week finally acting up upon me, or just me losing my trace of thoughts and thinking, but for whatever reason, it is very unclear to me on all the things that are going on right now. It is also very unclear to me to all the action I have been conducting. I don't know what to blame or who to blame, even if I should be blaming anyone in the first place.
I feel like this lost lamb in the plain green grass field, confused about where I am, confused about what my goal is in life. I feel like a failure, not knowing what I want to do with my future, not having confidence in my own choice. Just living each day as if there is a next, wandering aimlessly among the rest. As people began to transfer out of this dumb community college, I am just here, still walking, lost in the same spot where I started, confused. To make the matters worst, I don't even have much motivation to study, with me having high level of distraction, it almost seemed as if I have ADD at some point
I need a mentor, I feel like I need someone to talk to about my problems. But who is there I can talk to in regards to problems like this. I never told anyone this, maybe because I am afraid of what others might say, or just simply because no one seems to care enough for me to mention it. I haven't found someone whom I can trust. I haven't found that one person who will understand all the things I have done completely. But as individual unique beings, of course no two would think alike and I understand. Yet still I am on this very spot, lost and confused. 
I want to cry sometimes, thinking about everything that had happened to me. All the things that had occurred. The unexpected, the never thought would happen scenarios that occurred. Why do they happen? Why did I chose to let it happen? I often asked myself, why did I ever do that? Why did I ever chose that path over others? Other times I would close my eyes and try to escape. The voices that echos in my head often, the little whisper of "no"s, and the uncertainty of "yes"es. The constant reminder that all the rest will be biting back at me later on, the karma so they call it. 
I started to ignore of good conscious, I began to ignore my bad feelings and let the flow waves take me. Is that a good thing? Is it a bad thing? It's something I know one day I will be sad about soon, is something that will caught up to me one day. But all in my head as of now was, living in the current, living in the days rather than thinking about the future. 
I remember a few days ago, on Monday night, I wanted to cry, I wanted to break down. I was scared of who I was becoming. I felt the potential of me becoming someone who I no longer know, and the worst part was it's myself that I no longer know. I wanted to call my first, I wanted to see how it is doing all of a sudden. I want to see how he is doing. To be honest, I might still have a space somewhere for him. Although I haven't seen him since the time where I had a terrible headache, I haven't seen him since the trip to Universal Studios. I want to know if he moved on yet, if he finally found someone that he loves, someone that he finally cares about and cares about him back. Those moments where I was with him seems so fade, so far away. When was the last time we had a real talk? Never. When was the last time we had a heart to heart talk? Probably the only time I ever admitted that I liked him. Truth be told, I don't know what I am doing relationship wise. Maybe I am not ready for a relationship yet, maybe I need a break from guys, from love and crush. Maybe for now I should focus on what I need to and should do with myself. No more kisses and hugs, not from anyone, not from the one. 

It's okay self, one more week until you're officially isolated from the school, from the entire campus. Just one more week. 







































Good bye my hopeless lover, goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be?So long, my luckless romance, my back is turned on you, I should've known you'd bring me heartache.
Almost lovers always do