June 12 2014

So its been a while since I last wrote an entry. Yeah, a lot of things has been happening since the last time I actually sat down and wrote a heart to heart conversation with people I don't even know, aka my readers. Haha I don't even know who reads this anymore, but then anyways it doesn't matter anymore, i am just in the habit of writing them even though there may no even be audiences out there reading this messages.
Truth be told, I really hate how the society treats me sometimes. sometimes although I feel lucky to be where I am right now, sitting in an student government office, working hard towards my goal in life, even though its still undecided right now. Working hard to try to earn approval of the family, and working hard to make sure I get an A in my summer classes. Sometimes I wish I can take a break off of what I am doing and finally relax, but the sometimes too much of nothingness bores me to death, god does anyone else feel this? It's like if I have too long of a break then I just feel like s slump of blob that needs to go out and do something productive like volunteering or hanging out with my friends. But when I do all that too much, then  I wish I could have break. It's like humans always want what we cannot have, some stupid reverse twisted sick psychology concept that we all tend to have. Wishing for what we have and unappreciated of what we do have, and when we lose what we have, we ultimately wish for it back because apparently we didn't know better until after its gone.
So many times, so many lessons taught me this, however, like everyone else I tend to forget about it in flash of a second anyways. It's weird to think that way , sometimes I feel like I am over thinking it but then other times I feel like, wow for me to think of something so mature, god so proud of myself.

So moving onwards to today, a day after establishing the rules of not touching other people's property and office norms, my office co-worker fucking takes my chair, stole it because his is broken. Shit, let hell break lose, if he think he can fucking take my chair and everything is going to be okay, he is fucking wrong. I wish he can get all the things he deserve coming/going his way. Shit. Its only the second day that we are all working i this student government office, and he is already here taking my chair and everything? Imagine working together for a full year? What the hell is going to happen then?

Health Department Confirmed Semen found on McDonald’s Mayonnaise

So I saw this today, and I just had to reblog it on my blog, because it is really disgusting for someone to be jerking off into the mayo. And to the public too?! god, I am never ordering Mcdonalds ever again, especially not McChicken! I wont be able to look at McChicken the same anymore. especially its mayo! 

Health Department Confirmed Semen found on McDonald’s Mayonnaise

Published by farhan on Mon, 26 May 2014 10:28:59 AM
http://www.allsingaporestuff.com/article/health-department-confirmed-semen-found-mcdonald%E2%80%99s-mayonnaise

You won’t believe what was in the McDonald’s mayo ‘The Texture Was Familiar’ the woman said.

A woman in the state of Michigan was in disgusted when she had lunch last week at a local McDonald’s. The 31 year old, Lisa McDowell was having a bite to eat with her friends when she ordered a McChicken sandwich. She was halfway through with her sandwich when she noticed a clump of mayonnaise on the side of her bun. She licked it off, but when she tasted it she immediately realized things were not right. “I’m not gonna lie,” McDowell said. “On Birthdays and holidays I give my man a little something extra in the bedroom, you know? So when I licked the mayo off of the bun, the texture was familiar.”

The woman then called over the manager who denied the allegations, she then took matters into her own hands and contacted the local health department. They sent the “mayo” off for testing and the results were positive for 2 different types of semen. YES, you heard that right!  And to make matters worse, a couple days later,  McDowell awoke  from her sleep with a red rash in the corner of her mouth. The rash then spread and developed into severe blisters. She then took a trip to her doctor and he verified that she had contracted the herpes virus, which she claims was a result of her tainted McChicken sandwich from McDonald’s.

The manager has fired two employees as a result of her allegations and the test results. The manager of the McDonald’s also said, “We can’t always keep an eye on our employee’s conduct. We can only hope, during the interview process, that we are able to hire employees that meet our companies standards.”

- More at AllSingaporeStuff.comhttp://www.allsingaporestuff.com/article/health-department-confirmed-semen-found-mcdonald%E2%80%99s-mayonnaise
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- See more at: http://www.allsingaporestuff.com/article/health-department-confirmed-semen-found-mcdonald%E2%80%99s-mayonnaise#sthash.fLwo3UwC.dpuf

"Almost Lover"

"Almost Lover"

Your fingertips across my skin

The palm trees swaying in the wind

Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies

The sweetest sadness in your eyes

Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street

You took my hand and danced with me

Images

And when you left you kissed my lips

You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean

I cannot drive the streets at night

I cannot wake up in the morning

Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted

And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that easy

To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

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I don't know why, listening to this song is just making me sad, especially with all the things that are occurring as of now. All the stress that is passing by and all the moments where I go like where am I? Why am I doing this? What's wrong with me. I don't know if its finals week finally acting up upon me, or just me losing my trace of thoughts and thinking, but for whatever reason, it is very unclear to me on all the things that are going on right now. It is also very unclear to me to all the action I have been conducting. I don't know what to blame or who to blame, even if I should be blaming anyone in the first place.
I feel like this lost lamb in the plain green grass field, confused about where I am, confused about what my goal is in life. I feel like a failure, not knowing what I want to do with my future, not having confidence in my own choice. Just living each day as if there is a next, wandering aimlessly among the rest. As people began to transfer out of this dumb community college, I am just here, still walking, lost in the same spot where I started, confused. To make the matters worst, I don't even have much motivation to study, with me having high level of distraction, it almost seemed as if I have ADD at some point
I need a mentor, I feel like I need someone to talk to about my problems. But who is there I can talk to in regards to problems like this. I never told anyone this, maybe because I am afraid of what others might say, or just simply because no one seems to care enough for me to mention it. I haven't found someone whom I can trust. I haven't found that one person who will understand all the things I have done completely. But as individual unique beings, of course no two would think alike and I understand. Yet still I am on this very spot, lost and confused. 
I want to cry sometimes, thinking about everything that had happened to me. All the things that had occurred. The unexpected, the never thought would happen scenarios that occurred. Why do they happen? Why did I chose to let it happen? I often asked myself, why did I ever do that? Why did I ever chose that path over others? Other times I would close my eyes and try to escape. The voices that echos in my head often, the little whisper of "no"s, and the uncertainty of "yes"es. The constant reminder that all the rest will be biting back at me later on, the karma so they call it. 
I started to ignore of good conscious, I began to ignore my bad feelings and let the flow waves take me. Is that a good thing? Is it a bad thing? It's something I know one day I will be sad about soon, is something that will caught up to me one day. But all in my head as of now was, living in the current, living in the days rather than thinking about the future. 
I remember a few days ago, on Monday night, I wanted to cry, I wanted to break down. I was scared of who I was becoming. I felt the potential of me becoming someone who I no longer know, and the worst part was it's myself that I no longer know. I wanted to call my first, I wanted to see how it is doing all of a sudden. I want to see how he is doing. To be honest, I might still have a space somewhere for him. Although I haven't seen him since the time where I had a terrible headache, I haven't seen him since the trip to Universal Studios. I want to know if he moved on yet, if he finally found someone that he loves, someone that he finally cares about and cares about him back. Those moments where I was with him seems so fade, so far away. When was the last time we had a real talk? Never. When was the last time we had a heart to heart talk? Probably the only time I ever admitted that I liked him. Truth be told, I don't know what I am doing relationship wise. Maybe I am not ready for a relationship yet, maybe I need a break from guys, from love and crush. Maybe for now I should focus on what I need to and should do with myself. No more kisses and hugs, not from anyone, not from the one. 

It's okay self, one more week until you're officially isolated from the school, from the entire campus. Just one more week. 







































Good bye my hopeless lover, goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be?So long, my luckless romance, my back is turned on you, I should've known you'd bring me heartache.
Almost lovers always do

Isn't someone missing me? ; la douler

All this time, I thought I was over him, but the truth is that I was never over him. I still have feelings for him, even just he slightest counts right? No matter what he does, or how much I despise him, I just cannot stop loving him. He’s already my ex, I was the one who gave the decision of breaking up with him, and now I am the one regretting this? A little ironic, I know. Why can’t I stop thinking about him? I don’t know, it haunts me in the middle of the night at times. The way he smiles, that face, that innocent but gentle face. Sometimes I miss it, sometimes I wish I still had him. If I had those kind of feelings then why am I here at this step, with someone else in my arm you ask? I have no clue either. In the beginning, I just couldn’t take him on my shoulder anymore. He doesn’t know how I felt, he doesn’t understand me, and moreover, he doesn’t know I cry in the middle of the nights at times because of our fragile relationship. There I said it. Sometimes on the other side of the phone when I was talking to my ex, things would be weird, it would grow quite, afterall we don’t have much to talk about. Getting together right after being a set of strangers, of course there is nothing you can talk about. But then of course, its my fault as well, because I would never tell him how I feel. In fact, I would never tell him anthing about him. Its pretty silly to say it now but then its better than not saying it at all at times. Sometimes I would close my eyes and wish everything was a fairytale. Another reason to why I broke up was because of the fact that I couldn’t express anything with him. I guess if I gave “us” time, we probably would pull through. I mean relationship is all about time, and patience, because only “time will tell” as they say. And that is what kinda happened to me and present, and resulting in me here, in less of a depress relationship. Why didn’t I give my past a chance? Why did I move on so fast? It is because of the way he makes my heart race? Is it because of the way he smiles? The way he loves me like no one else? I really don’t know. He is a guy full of flaws, yet I loved him so much. He chased me for what? Five years? Seven years? At times even though he tells me he have already got over me, I would wonder about that.  Isn’t something missing? Isnt someone missing me? Even though I am the sacrifice, you wont try for me not now. Now im dying to know if you love me, now I am all alone. Isn’t something missing? Isn’t someone missing me? This song truly describes my feelings right now. I can’t bare to see another one of his pictures. Each time I see one picture, an image just pop up of him, the thought of him. The slightest hint reminds me of him, I hate it, I truly hate it. What am I suppose to do now? 

The shit I went through this hierarchy

Warning: by reading the following blog you are agreeing to not use any of the information of the blog against the author of this blog, nor any other reasons. The things below are only for entertainment and reading purposes.
I go to this school where the leaderships are messed up, the hard workers usually become the sloppy workers, and the people who deserves to earn the most are not the ones who actually do. I am in many committees in a club, and I have experiences in many different ways others don't, yet I am not the one who is selected for the leadership. Which in my opinion is pretty sad. To be honest, I hate the people on top, because to get on their good side, you need to kiss up to their asses, and do whatever they want you to do, no questions asked.
Last semester, I applied to be the leader of this one committee, and yes, I lost to someone who isn't even that highly participated in the committee. Only reason she was selected was because she was part of the main board member or the main cord of the club, and the voters were the board members. So of course, out of me, this other girl, and her, it would be her. And to make situations worst, during my interview, no one came besides the ex-leader, and the one who does the least in the board. Which makes the whole interview unfair, because no one seems to know anything during my interview.
I mean, yes I guess I somehow got over that a while later, a long while later. That is when I decided to aim for my second leadership skills interview. Which was the managers underneath the leader of the committee, they pretty much do most of the work for the leader, which leaves the leader doing nothing but still getting all the credits. Anyways, I applied to two positions, and I guess there was another one for me to fall back on in addition, so that makes it three, but sadly, I didn't get into any. The only reason I was liable I guess was because I was late to two of the meet up with the leader, well not late, but one I texted her saying I will be five minute late, and the other one was I cancelled one of the morning shift with the leader, and she was like, that is not a good enough excuse to do it but she will let be slide, but shes disappointed in me and stuff. I mean Shit. I have 20 units in my hand, why can't you just allow me to have a little moment. Others don't even work as hard as I do, heck some talks, uses their phone and shit.
Two days ago the third incident happened in which I was the only one in my shift that appeared, apparently the other girls signed in, went to the galloway, and cleaned up the booth and just sat by the stair cases for a whole two hours while I was sitting in the cold working my ass off. Shit, are they fucking dumb as hell or what is their problem? Freaking ass idiots. According to them, they asked May if they can clean up the booth, and she said yes, but after that go help out with the PCC Quad. And those two girls just took it as "leave and then come back later and help the PCC Quad". Like fuck, their Asians too, why can't they get it right. It's been the same for two month shifts now, and that one day they just think that it works like that? Holy fuck. I ended up cleaning up most of the things early because the campus police was just right there and if i clean up later on I was worried I won't be able to take it down. Then after we took the things up thats when the two girls reapperared again. Like holy crap. Yeah just come in later and take credit of the work. So I left an half an hour early because I got pissed off at the situation. I got pissed off at the two girls just sitting there like nothing happened, and I am even more angry and the night I guess. And when my present came all the way here for me, I just really want to leave and go home I guess.
And just now, the leader texted me saying that she wants to talk to me. By the looks of it its something bad, probably I am in trouble now for leaving early that day because I got pissed off. Or maybe because when one of the manager asked me where was I, and why did I leave early I said the leader said I could leave early. But either way, I will either get kicked out of the committee now, or something like that. Oh well who the hell cares anymore. I don't need this committee, nor do I need to try to be helping in the committee if they're going to kick me off just like that. They will be the ones losing someone as great as me in their team. Moreover, if they think they can get rid of me that easily they're wrong. If she attempts to kick me out, watch, I will go to the main club adviser, i will go to to the committee adviser, and further more, I will have a petition signed and presented to the board. You cannot kick a member off the team because of no warning, no regards, nor can you just fire and yell at them like that.

Good bye floppy birds for good ? (Being taking down February 9th, 2014)

Have you heard of the newest rising star in the apple store recently? If not, look around, even in the play store, it's a pretty hot game. Made it to the number one list within days, and the game doesn't have much to it besides tapping on the screen making sure the bird flies in between the pipes. Yup, it's floppy birds. 

As of now, many of the games that's along the same branch are also on the top ten, which includes ironpants, super ball juggling, 

shuriken block, and a copy verison of floppy bird called flappy planes by some other Asian. It's scary how it's all dominating the top list chart when all they do, and the whole purpose of the game is to tap for each and every one of them. I never understood, even up to now, why all my friends are addicted to it. And heck, were in the same generations too. This game isn't just popular for teens but from kids to adult as well. Each trying their best to beat their friends score, or to test the impossible. 

To be honest, my highest score was 4, so there, laugh all you want. 

However, the jokes may be on you now. So, according to the Vietnamese creator of this game, Nguyen Ha Dong, he declared that he is going to take the game "floppy bird" down 22 hours from then (when he posted), although the reasons are still a bit of unsure, all we know as of now is that he said he is taking it down for personal purpose even though he earns about $50,000 from advertisements alone a day. How crazy is that? 

(His tweeter is @dongatory , so if anyone wanna protest, there you have it.

So according to buzzfeed:

Nguyen Ha Dong, the indie game developer who created overnight

 hit Flappy Bird, just tweeted that he is planning on taking the game down tomorrow.

Dong Nguyen@dongatoryFollow

I am sorry 'Flappy Bird' users, 22 hours from now, I will take 'Flappy Bird' down. I cannot take this anymore.

2:02 PM - 8 Feb 14

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Although some people have accused Dong of ripping off other games, he said the decision was not because of a legal drama.

Dong Nguyen@dongatoryFollow

It is not anything related to legal issues. I just cannot keep it anymore.

2:04 PM - 8 Feb 14

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The 29-year-old from Hanoi, Vietnam created the game last May, but it surged in popularity early this year.The Verge reported it earns $50,000 a day in ad revenue.

Dong Nguyen@dongatoryFollow

I also don't sell 'Flappy Bird', please don't ask.

2:26 PM - 8 Feb 14

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Dong Nguyen@dongatoryFollow

And I still make games.

2:26 PM - 8 Feb 14

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A few hours before, Dong tweeted that the game has ruined his life.

Dong Nguyen@dongatoryFollow

I can call 'Flappy Bird' is a success of mine. But it also ruins my simple life. So now I hate it.

5:15 AM - 8 Feb 14

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He’s also recently expressed frustration at all the attention garnered from the game’s popularity.

Dong Nguyen@dongatoryFollow

Press people are overrating the success of my games. It is something I never want. Please give me peace.

12:36 PM - 4 Feb 14

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Despite the seemingly imminent shut down, Flappy Bird seems to have recently gone under renovation.

Erin Chack / BuzzFeed

Adam Davis / BuzzFeed

Pipes look more polished, the background oscillates between night and day, and Flappy Bird changes from red, blue, or yellow

In the meantime, devoted fans have begun tweeting #SaveFlappyBird.

Save Flappy Bird!!@SaveFIappyBirdFollow

RT TO KEEP FLAPPY BIRD ALIVE! IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS FLAPPY BIRD WILL BE TAKEN OFF THE APP STORE!#SAVEFLAPPYBIRD

3:33 PM - 8 Feb 14

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Lindsey@Lindsey1DSelGFollow

NO FLAPPY BIRD CANNOT BE DELETED!#SaveFlappyBird

3:05 PM - 8 Feb 14

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