Isn't someone missing me? ; la douler

All this time, I thought I was over him, but the truth is that I was never over him. I still have feelings for him, even just he slightest counts right? No matter what he does, or how much I despise him, I just cannot stop loving him. He’s already my ex, I was the one who gave the decision of breaking up with him, and now I am the one regretting this? A little ironic, I know. Why can’t I stop thinking about him? I don’t know, it haunts me in the middle of the night at times. The way he smiles, that face, that innocent but gentle face. Sometimes I miss it, sometimes I wish I still had him. If I had those kind of feelings then why am I here at this step, with someone else in my arm you ask? I have no clue either. In the beginning, I just couldn’t take him on my shoulder anymore. He doesn’t know how I felt, he doesn’t understand me, and moreover, he doesn’t know I cry in the middle of the nights at times because of our fragile relationship. There I said it. Sometimes on the other side of the phone when I was talking to my ex, things would be weird, it would grow quite, afterall we don’t have much to talk about. Getting together right after being a set of strangers, of course there is nothing you can talk about. But then of course, its my fault as well, because I would never tell him how I feel. In fact, I would never tell him anthing about him. Its pretty silly to say it now but then its better than not saying it at all at times. Sometimes I would close my eyes and wish everything was a fairytale. Another reason to why I broke up was because of the fact that I couldn’t express anything with him. I guess if I gave “us” time, we probably would pull through. I mean relationship is all about time, and patience, because only “time will tell” as they say. And that is what kinda happened to me and present, and resulting in me here, in less of a depress relationship. Why didn’t I give my past a chance? Why did I move on so fast? It is because of the way he makes my heart race? Is it because of the way he smiles? The way he loves me like no one else? I really don’t know. He is a guy full of flaws, yet I loved him so much. He chased me for what? Five years? Seven years? At times even though he tells me he have already got over me, I would wonder about that.  Isn’t something missing? Isnt someone missing me? Even though I am the sacrifice, you wont try for me not now. Now im dying to know if you love me, now I am all alone. Isn’t something missing? Isn’t someone missing me? This song truly describes my feelings right now. I can’t bare to see another one of his pictures. Each time I see one picture, an image just pop up of him, the thought of him. The slightest hint reminds me of him, I hate it, I truly hate it. What am I suppose to do now?