Wonders and desires

      Sometimes I wonder why are things always so unfair when it comes to me. The family I live in, many tends to be jealous. Getting to go everywhere, being able to see far places and experience new things, not having a care of when to get home and all. Why shouldnt they be jealous? But then sometmes its just those uncaring feeling, the feeling of them being unable to understand what you're going through that makes it unutterable.
      I sometime wish for a family that take me to places that I want to go. Not even to buy me stuff, but instead letting me buy stuff. I mean, I am not even asking for the basics, and yet this is happening. All I ever wanted, have they ever knew what it was? My favorite food? My favorite thing to do? Of course not. I don't think many parents would care for that. I sometimes wonder how it would be like if my family were actually different. If we were to live somewhere else. And spend our lives as other people. I wonder what will happen then.
      I am thankful my parents aren't strict and desire me to study on daily basis and restrain me from the use of electronics  But again I am jealous of them for caring for their kids, and buy the food that their kids want to eat. I mean if i were to point a finger at what I want then they would be like, "its too expensive," or "do you really need this?" or even, "maybe when its on sale." but deep down, I already know that day wouldn't come. Yet i expect so much.
      Desperate people at desperate need huh? Maybe people, humanity in general seek for things they cant acquire  hoping that they would be able to gain some. People's thoughts are strange. And the purpose of living, i still dont know yet. Maybe its some kind of experimental game the upper people have on us. Adding a little here and little there.


6:27 pm edit;

It's on Christmas Eve that I realize, if you don't take credits for the things you have done, soon without realizing it, others will take the credits for you. -_- typical life

rant of my odd thanksgiving turkey day...

Before anything, I would like to wish everyone here who is reading this post, or have been reading all my post a happy thanksgiving, and god bless everyone of you even though I myself isn't a god believer. I hope all those turkey or whatever you guys have on thanksgiving be wonderful. And hope all of you had your fun black friday shopping! 

      Teenagers are just one stage of humanhood before becoming pre-adults. As you gradually earn your freedom, you gradually abuse it. Sometimes you worry that you might lose this freedom that you just gain. I remember those happiness moment when I was able to obtain my own freedom as long as I report back to my parents. In elementary school, friends weren't allowed to come to my house, and I myself wasn't allowed to go to their house. At times where I tend to get carried away, at times where I dont keep track of time and ended up not reporting to my parents about me being out late nearly cast an end to my freedomship, but they would always kindly let it go. And I am quite thankful for that. Sometime, I guess its those carefreeness that my parents had on me, no pressure, no rules that got me into a hyper state and a happy state. Or its probably just me. Haha yeah probably that. Sometimes I feel unlucky to be in this family but sometimes the opposite.
      As you all may know today is the friday after thanksgiving, which marks a red tag on probably everything or half of the things in a store the sales tag. Yeah, "black friday" the one and only day where people can actually camp out of stores way before midnight, lining up with friends, seeing stores opening rather early than having to wait till their actual service hour. Indeed overtime is rare to see, especially in the economic  So is business, but then that isn't stopping all the people here to shop till they drop. First time black friday shopping, first time staying out with friends outside at a mall this late, first time being with my boyfriend this late, first time spending thanksgiving with him, first time spending thanksgiving with my friends, first time boyfriend didnt have a curfew, first time seeing boyfriend getting this sick, first time boyfriend running in the mall like a little kid with the widest smile. It's amazing how many first time you can achieve in one day. Trust me, there were more, just too little time to list.
      I like to shop, and i did wanted to go to gilly hicks, and hollister, but then for some reason, shopping with  a boyfriend next to me tends to get awkward. I dont even know why. The best offer that was ever offered in life, "Whatever you want to buy, I'll buy it for you today." That's probably like every girl's dream to have a guy like that that is willing to pay for all their shopping cost. Especially Amy and Florence. Haha, but then I said no anyways, stupid me huh? I dont know there's just something about boyfriend that are off limits to going shopping with. I know its quite strange but that's how it goes. So my friends separated  a group went to line up at gilly hicks and my friend and I went to forever 21 because she wanted to. I am not a big fan of forever 21, in fact i have never i believe bought any outfit from forever 21 before.
      Anyways, the funny thing is that forever 21, the staff just allowed everyone in, meanwhile the other stores there was an actual line from start to beginning, letting people in a few by a few. And then controlling the crowd while forever 21 only have a line in the beginning then that was it. It's quite interesting though, gilly hicks had about an hour two hour line just like hollister while disney store had way more. (which in a way i kinda understand why, i mean come on its disney, but in a way i dont understand why) but any how, there were like guys with abs outside in a life guard swimshorts of gilly hicks and hollister, no wonder its a big hit. I mean those guys were like attracting girls attention. Although there were guys lining up for the store, most of them are girls. Way to advertise!
      Rough night, because there wasnt much action going on, i mean my group I was stuck with my friend who is poor yet wants to go to the mall and the other one who is just sick and scared to be in a close area with a lot of people. Certainly a day to remember dont you think? After like one store, we were kind of officially over. At least with Melissa i could just drag her off, oh sigh. But anyways, what was worst is that he was sick and all and claim that he have food posioning afterwards, and because the signal sucks in the mall, especially with that many people and that many smart phones, i doubt we can even get a call through. So we ended up waiting outside of the mall. Friend lost her infinaty scarf and ended up running back in and search for it, at first i was going to go with her but then later she ran and i was already with a headache so i went back happily thought that my boyfriend would be where he was seated he ended up disappearing inside in a French Bakery. buying stuff, so i pat on him and walked out, in hopes that he would come out and lookfor me when he is done ordering. Nope, he literally just stood there and then went to sit down inside and munch his stuff. While i sat outside. It was at that point I realize that was my choice really right? Picking someone who wouldnt run out to look for you but instead wait inside. Maybe it was because he was sick maybe it was because he didnt know, but shouldnt and isnt the first thing they do to look outside? How stupid of me, i thought to myself. Was it really worth all this? I ended up waited outside for countless minutes, for him to come out. 15, 30, 45 minutes went by he was still in there. My body were beginning to freeze due to the hard cold metal table. I glared out into the sky, little by little shedding tears, wondering why I was here in the first place, sitting here and questioning myself. I keep telling myself stop being unreasonable (as my boyfriend claim me to be), but sometimes my reason doesnt make a logical reason to him. He later finally came out and grasp me hard, asking me why was I outside, oh gee, i think its the weather, no maybe the coldness. Yeah i like to sit outside at 4 o clock in the morning to glare at the sky and shed tears.
      Either way, by the end of that shopping trip as we were sending Danny home, he grabbed me along and said to stay with him, and i had second thoughts about it. My first answer was a no, because i know to an asian parent, it is illogical for a girl to stay at a guy's house. Especially at midnight too? But that wasnt the main thing, but i mean bringing a girl back this late really? Sigh, i would be piss off too i guess if my son was to do that.  Why did i do it? Why did i agree to it? I should have said no, and let him go home by himself, i mean it was just a gate away. I ended up staying the rest of the night at his house, in his room while he slept in the guest room, which is weird but works. His mom literally screamed, yeah probably about me most of the time. -_________- those awkward moment.






iono...dont feel like finishing it, but anyways, waste this long weekend when i could have went with my sister and them skiing! SCREW MY LIFE.

eveɴтѕ - ℓα ∂συℓєυя

      Events tends to be tiring at times, but then it's the joy in the process of mkaing it happening that makes it enjoyable and fun to bare with. Many times I tend to ask myself, why am I putting so much effort into things that maybe we should all be working towards, and then i realize the answer, because the joy and the happiness you get from seeing their face tends to be priceless. Even a simple smile or thank you really tends to make up for those troublesome moments. You may not understand what I am saying but you know happiness isn't to keep to one self but to share it among with everyone else.
     Maybe that's what the Grinch's heart grew bigger and bigger as he saw the ray of happiness shining upon the city even though they were present-less. So did Grinch really stole Christmas? Or in a sense was he really the Santa that showed everyone what Christmas was all about? The one who united them all? Oh the irony.  
      Well as for now, here's the event as it goes on so far. The list is so ironically combined. I mean Ann and Jenny haha, that is like connect two of the same magnet, always repel against each other yet now their gifting each other gifts. Haha, hopefully through this it would make them closer together. And last secret Santa that we played during senior year Melissa's secret Santa was Jocelyn, and Melissa was my secret Santa. It's very funny how things turned out. Maybe that's life for you.
      I don't know about you guys, but my favorite part of the whole season is seeing everyone's happy and joyful face and Christmas shopping. Perhaps shopping is in all girl's genes, but then i don't know why, when i shop for someone else i tend to be happier than shopping for myself, maybe its the excitement you get when you think of their face when they receive the present and all. Or maybe the season is just a bit overly jolly that you tend to not be able to wipe away that smile. But for whatever it is, it sure makes the whole year worth the wait.

      The Secret Santa List:

Ann Yee - Jenny Lu

Jenny Lu - Ann Yee

Connie Lai - Jenny Chuang

Melissa Hua - Jocelyn Del Rio

Jenny Chuang - Melissa Hua

Jocelyn Del Rio - Connie Lai

      I am pretty sure i didnt write this in my last blog, but then my parents removed my doorknob..why you ask? Because my parents are multi-house owner or landlord i guess? And they rent out their houses, and in one of their houses they needed a doorknob, and our of the whole house, our of all the doorknobs they could have taken, they decide to take mine. And I am the one who uses my doorknob the most. Isnt this ironically? I mean yeah i would totally understand if i never use my doorknob and all, but no, none of my parents use their door knob yet i am the one who they take away from. Sigh. That's life for you. Well until next time.