Roses and their meanings

Happy post Valentines day!
Yeah, a few weeks late, I know, I been busy with many things. Relationship is a weird things, so is jealousy. Jealousy can eat someone up inside, can make people do stupid things. And ultimately leads to sad ending of things. It triggers insecurities in people along with cold cold shivers I don't think anyone would like to feel anytime soon.
Valentines are always symbolized with red or pink roses just like how funerals are symbolized with white roses. According to sources as well as my friend who enlightened me, because I never knew the meaning of red roses, but apparently red roses proclaim "I love you." They are the ultimate symbol of romantic love and enduring passion.

So since we're on the topic of roses on their meaning by color, I might as well attach a list of the colors of the roses and the indication of their meaning below. So here it goes!

The color of roses and their meaning: 

The color of a rose can have a very different meaning from what you intend. Whether you are sending a single rose or a bouquet, there is a message to the symbolism. To ensure that your love understands what the particular roses that you bestow mean, check this guide to rose colors and their meanings:

Red Roses
Red roses proclaim "I love you." They are the ultimate symbol of romantic love and enduring passion. 

Yellow Roses
Yellow roses indicate friendship and freedom -- so don't send them if your intentions are romantic and long-lasting; you could actually be insulting the recipient! Yellow roses are also appropriate for sending congratulations to newlyweds, graduates, Texans, and new mothers. 

Pale Pink Roses
Pale pink roses connote grace, gentleness, and gratitude. While they may look youthful and delicate, they are as sturdy as any other rose.

Light Pink Roses
A joy to behold, light pink roses express fun and happiness. 

Deep Pink Roses
Deep pink roses say "Thank you." They have also come to be associated with the fight against breast cancer. 

Lilac Roses
Lilac roses indicate the sender has fallen in love at first sight with the recipient and is enchanted.

White Roses
Pure white roses symbolize truth and innocence. They also send other messages: "I miss you" and "You're heavenly." 

Peach Roses
Peach roses speak of appreciation and gratitude.

Coral Roses
Coral roses express one thing with their passionate color: Desire.

Orange Roses
Orange roses communicate enthusiasm and desire on the part of the sender.

White Roses + Yellow Roses
A symbol of harmony.

Red Roses + Yellow Roses
A message of happiness and celebration.

Red Roses + White Roses
An indication of bonding and harmony.

More Rose Symbolism: 
While roses are traditionally presented in bouquet form, these are also acceptable:

Single Red Rose
"I love you" (but I'm not going to go broke telling you).

Single Rose Any Color
"I thank you" (and I'm still not going to go broke saying so).

Two Roses Entwined
An engagement or marriage is imminent.

So up there is pretty much the meaning for them. So be careful when you're gifting roses to your cared ones, and choose the right set of roses. It's pretty funny because I have actually recieved yellow roses from my ex before, but I love yellow, so that wasn't really a problem. And plus they were dyed in sparkles and wrapped amazingly, how can i ever reject?

Besides that, happy february! And I will try to keep this as updated as possible even though it'd probably just be a blog for me, myself and I. (no readers *cry cry*)


but here attached is a video explaining in more detail i believe....i never really watched it so yeah haha
click me to watch it

Goodbye 2014, hello 2015

Happy new year, happy 2015. A lot of things happened, the good, the bad, and just plenty of drama. Honestly, the year barely started and there are already more drama than there was compare to last year. My present broken up with me once again because he says he wasn’t ready for the relationship. He says that he only cares for me but not love me the way I do and it is unfair to me. That it would be better off if I go find someone else rather than him, I will get treated better and I deserve better. I understand where he is coming at. I know there may be guys that will treat me better, that will probably love me better, and taken care of me better than him ever will, but honestly he is the only one I can see long term. He is patient to me, understanding, and accepts my terrible attitude problems when a lot of the others would turn away or ignore me. He calms me down and tries his best to be there for me, and it was because of me, that caused his past few semester to fail terribly. He had me on his priorities that he didn’t do much else besides seeing me, and that caused an effect that both me and him had to pay. For me, I will be seeing him less because he have to focus on prioritizing his things, and next semester he will be attending to another community college because he failed math three times here, or in this case, withdraw twices and “D”ed once. To be fair, I was only the cause of his two Ws, nothing to do with the “D”, however I was in his math class when he “D” the class. It is weird how I was presence in all of the math failures he had, but because of that he can’t take it at the current community college anymore (well that particular math class anyways).

There were multiple times where I thought about it and i regretted dragging him out and hanging out with him late every day, knowing that he have class the following day. Our relationship was never that healthy to begin with. We had sex nearly every day of the week in the summer, and were inseperateable. The funniest thing to that, well it really isn’t that funny, but I guess you can say the most confusing part of that relationship was we were not together yet. We actually barely started in the summer, and we did it nonstop. At that point, I was confused to what we were, whether he sees us as dating, sees us as a friend for benefit thing or the no string attach thing? Because I was confused down to the last tissue in my body. I didn’t understand what we were doing because all the things happened too fast.

It started when one day he took me out to the mountain to look at views when we were sight seeing because I was stressed. It was beautiful, but we didn’t stay there and view it for long, it was a long quiet period I can recall, but slowly we kissed and from there things escalated quickly. All those times where he’d drive up there into the middle of no where and we’d embrace each other was the nicest times although confusing.

The most embarrassing part to the story I guess was the fact that my ex boyfriend, the only one I had sex with before my present, was Asian, and the stereotypes were right about Asian men with small penises. Because he had a small penis, small and thin, like a stick, and even that hurted when we had sex, imagine how its going to be like with my present, who is not Asian.

I think this is the only time I am going to talk about my sex life, I hate to say this, but I don’t think my ex ever popped my cherry because his penis was too small. Because after the first time with my present, I was bleeding, and he and I never understood why I bled that day, but now putting that logic to it, I meant that would make so much sense.

The truth is, I never liked intercourse until I met him, I guess that day I forced myself to have it, it hurted a lot more than it did with my ex, obviously, but I took it in. And slowly (it still hurts the following few times), gradually, it stopped hurting as much, and now it doesn’t. I guess I am not an exception and there was nothing wrong with my vagina like my ex kept claiming, and I do like sex, I guess its just not something you can force onto someone or pressure someone to like.

He have tried to get me to like it for too much of a time that I guess it builded onto my mind set that I should do it just because it should be done. I never thought of it as a enjoyment, I mean maybe because of porn, it gives this false image of how sex is suppose to be like or how a relationship sex should be like when honestly, it shouldn’t be anything like that.

A couple who have sex is supposed to be at the time when both of them are comfortable in advancing, and ready to advance and their speed. Sometimes one can be slower, and that’s okay, that’s why the other wait, because good thing comes to those who wait. (its ironic how I am the one who says it when I have the least patience, but its true, and I have experienced that myself throughout 2014) For those who actually reads this blog, which probably is close to 0, but for those who do, believe me and all those things I say, because I speak from experience. If one forces you to do things you’re not comfortable doing, then the truth is, they don’t love you and you probably most likely deserve someone better.

Looking back 2014 was truly a unique year where I experienced a lot of things I never knew I’d experience. And I am grateful I experienced them. Now that we are moving on to 2015, I hope things are gonna become better, less sad stories happening and hopefully no more broken heart (present, stop breaking up with me when you’re at your lowest point in life!)

AND LET 2015 START FROM TODAY, FORGET THE PAST WEEKS, BECAUSE THOSE DEPRESSING THINGS DON'T COUNT AND WAS NEVER PART OF MY LIFE! 

My Mother's Life, an inspirational yet touching true story of her life. ; ℓα ∂συℓєυя

      The pain, the suffer, the sacrifice. This article is going to be special, this article is written dedicated for my mother, whom I knew would never read this, but still she's a true hero. With all due respect, please do not take this article without permission, and if use any, please credit my mom at least for it.
      My mother started off her childhood not easy, having 4 siblings, she was in the middle. Out of all her silbings, she was the one who was the least spoiled, she was the one who faced most of the harshest things that anyone could have faced in the society of poor. She, is a really unique girl who deserves more than she have right now, she deserves a better man than my father.
      Her mother to start off would always spoil the others when they ask her for money. Unlike her other silbings, asking her mother for money, she went off joining the malitary in Taiwan and became a nurse after with all the money that was gained through everything she would give most of them to her mother, leaving her self with barely enough to live. The greedy sisters would still continueiously seek her mother for money, and secretly the mother, weak as she was already, would give it to them when the whole purpose of those money was for her so that she would be able to live a good life.
      In her mid-age, she met my dad, which then I dont know how, never asked, it would be too awkward to ask anyways. Maybe Ill ask my dad later on in life, but not now. Meeting my dad in the medical field while around malitary wasn't really a good idea. And definately marrying him wasnt a good idea either.
      As my mother pursues her nursing later on in the United States, she knew little than enough to keep her alive. Yet somehow manages to survive. She was defaintely a great role model. She entered the United States, with a little cash, a little knowledge of its foreign language, and no one to take her around, she was literally lost, didn't know where to go. And back then, Asians migrating wasn't even a big thing. Barely any Asian were at California then.
      When her career was finally stable enough, she moved her three children to the United States for better education with the citizenship she gained. Another wrong decision she made by settling in the US and leaving her husband back in Taiwan to work, intrusting him in the relationship and the family. It wasn't long before he began to flirt, and soon enough cheat on her. Who knew how long this have been going on, but then it was one of those times where protection wasn't enough and an accident happened. And that's where I came into the story. Yup, you would think the whole time, the mother I talked about is my biological mother? Wrong. It was my adoptive mother who learn to love and forgive in a sense and allow me into her life.
      It was on one of those typical days where one of her friend needed someone to look after her grandmother and asked my mom to help out. That's where the surprise visit came in. It was because of my mother's surprise visit back to Taiwan made her saw what happened. That's where I came in to the story for real in life form. That was the time when I was about to come out of the womb and mother had no one to call but my dad,and sadly, she was there as well when it took place. And according to her, she was the first one to held me in her arms, all along, thinking that it was my mom who held me, thinking that she was the bigger person in the picture. In fact it was actually mother herself. After everything was settled, when everything have calmed itself, one person that wasn't calm was mother. She didn't know what to do. That was the downest part of her life. No the struggle she had coming to the US, not the fear of not knowing anyone and having to survive in a foregin country, but facing her husband cheating on her and having a bastard child. It was then, thanks to Buddhism that calmed her down completely, if it wasn't for them, mother wouldn't have made it until today.
      He never comforted her, he never really sincerely apologized either. And that left a huge mark on her. I mean if I was the one, I would have left everything and just return back to US with a divorcement and start new. But mother did, she stayed and settled, trying to forget and forgive. Though there's always this mark of scar on her, but then she hid it well, all these 18 years, I wonder how she survived. The more I learned about the truth, the more guilt I felt. I was the stone in their relationship, if my existent wasn't present, then this family may have a chance to live happier than ever, but then again, that would mean my dad may continuously cheat. Oh well, maybe this was all fate in a sense.
      Now today, why did I out of no where wrote this article? My parents once again broke into a huge fight with my dad starting everything with greed. He cared about himself more than others, and money obviously more than his wife.  I really do feel bad for my mom, it was at that time I wish I had a job already, and a place of my own, a place where mother can come and escape all these miserable hell. But then again, I am just a 18 years old with all the "irresponsible" marks on my head, what can I possibly do? I feel like punching my dad hard, hoping that he would get some sense in his system. I wished for powers to change my dad's mindset, and become a good husband, but then again, those are just wishes not things that can be done easily.
      At this point in life, I began to feel thankful, not just because I have a life already given at the palm of my hand, but a good life, a life many like my mother would be jealous of. A life where guys that are really truely after me, and the ones that I have been with are all good and not bad influences. That I have extreme luck, though there are down hill many time, but the uphill is really rewoarding. Thank you for everything you have done mother, you are truely a hero in my heart, the only thing i regret is not being able to be your friend and be there to talk with you about these and make you feel better. Making work the only escape place, the only paradise to escape from troubles. I am sorry.