Paralleled Universe

This may sound very initially stupid but sometimes I am really jealous of my siblings. Their status, their living environment, and so on. It’s like everything is within each other. They got each other right where they want them, friends are all well known through out. I, as a bastard child, doesn’t get much of the benefits. Yes I am young and more spoiled in such a way  compare to the rest of them, but then I rather have each other than to have myself. I would really rather go to arcadia high and meet all these kinds of people who are Taiwanese and social that are bilingual rather than making friends I rarely talk to and doesn’t really go out often. It’s stupid sometimes to admit things like this, but then when I am with them, I feel like things tend to change up, yeah I may seem like I got everything. Caring parents, well in compare to their situation, and just a home I guess. Don’t really have to do chores and such, but then sometimes I wonder, how would life be if I was to be still in Taiwan. I bet life would differ. I would tend to think of the paralleled universe. What if there’s another me, in the same time frame, but she’d be choosing another decision, and whether it’s right or wrong, her life is probably way different from mine. There may be some that is alone, some that’s still with my ex-boyfriend, some partying and having a good time, and just others who are smarter or dumber and perhaps within all those paralleled universe there would be one that have my mom in it. The one where her cancer is cured, or her cancer was discovered earlier and was treated before too late. The one where I’d still be living with her, although I may not have met anyone here, I would’ve been with one of my earliest crush which is now MIA because all I know is his name, and a little bit of his look. Who knew. Sometimes I wish I can go back to the past, and be myself, and choose again and see where I’d end up.  Just sometimes you know.

Parallel Universe. ; ℓα ∂συℓєυя

 "Don't act like your single if you want to be in a relationship"

      I find that truthfully true, because to be honest, who will want their opposite date to be someone who flirts with other girls? If my boyfriend were to flirt to a certain extend, then I truely dont think he should date.
      There's a limit to things, to all things, and sometimes we tend to drag it a little further each time when we know that we wouldn't get in trouble. But its from those times where we decide to take one step more beyond limit that we end up in heartbreak. Today morning when my boyfriend acting like a morning alarm, waking up early, wearing boxer to the kitchen to call me giving me a wake up call without waking up his roommates in the cold, instead of getting a thanks for doing this or any appreciation at all we ended up getting into fights because he wouldnt stay up  later on in the day to text me. I understand I really am asking for more and more as the relationship progresses, but to be honest, isnt this what all relationship is about? You tend to go further and further to a certain extend where they can't take it anymore and boom! break up.
      In dramas, everything felt so unrealistic. A guy accepting for who you really are regardless of your attitude in life and towards him and the others. A guy not complaining but trying to protect you in every single way possible, a guy who knows you by heart, someone you dont need to talk to and already understand you. How far is current present away from that guy? Sometimes i sigh because i know if I were to compare him with my ex, its somewhat impossible to compare. Sometimes I wonder in the parallel universe was I happier?
      I could always imagine myself in the parallel universe happy, parents free, action free, and not worrying about money or anything. Infact I was living with my sister in West Los Angeles, going to Santa Monica City College, and living the life, not worrying about hunger, not worrying about nagging parents, not worrying about who will do the laundry, damn life is good. Having companies and people who respect you and listen to you. And of course, a boyfriend who can drive all the way over here to see me, a boyfriend who have a car, a job, and loves you a lot and you love him a lot. All those were possible, yet i threw them all away, do I regret it? I never really did but then now, when being questioned by current present recently as well as the arguement, the more I see it the more I began to realize maybe he is right. Maybe current present is right, "maybe we were not meant to be."
      What do I do now? I wish for an answer upon the wishing star, but on this starless night, where could I find that shine?