This isn't a talk about depression, nor a talk of complain, but instead happiness that shines bright within me right now. Shines away all the darkness. Today, hanging out with old friends from high school shown my true happiness. Though meeting so many people in college, not one person can replace or fit in a place where these two idiots of mine that always makes me smile and tries their best cheering me up at times. I dont know what I would do without them. So this article is especially written for them. Though they will probably never find this blog, or ever read it, I feel like its my obligation to write it down here as my feelings you know.
Hanging out all the time sure makes the friendship stronger than before, but then hanging out once every rare occasion makes everything special. I finally realize it isnt the amount of times you hang with someone but your feeling towards them. A little of double meaning there, but then of course only I would get it, because afterall, its relating to something i been hiding deep within myself. Something I probably will never reveal to anyone in the world.
One terrible thing that happened today though it while driving and turning at this intersection, since i was running a bit late I didn't slow down at a turn, and there was a dip right there. By driving 30 miles per hour it really isnt something safe to talk about. But anyhow, there was this huge bomb noise, super loud, and I was scared, literally, and i think everyone else was too. After that I kept hearing scratching noise, loud ones. I was scared of the fact that it might be coming out from the car, scaring of the fact that my bumper was the one that fell. As i parked on the side of the road, I realize it was something that was plastic that was under the car, behind the bumper (thank god it wasn't the bumper, or else my parents would kill me and murder me.) but anyways I panicked because the truth is I cant really drive anywhere with a plastic protector of the bottom of the car, half lingering and half still up and fine you know. Nor did I have the tool to untwist the thing that held those two halves together.
I knew I couldn't drive all the way to school like that, because its 30 minutes away. So I decided to run into the private school near the street, but to realize I have no idea where the entrance was. It was then I saw this one latino man walking down the sidewalk. Chance! I thought to myself as I yelled towards his direction. "Hi, uhm can I borrow your phone?" He seemed a bit stranged out and confused, I mean if it was me I would too. And plus stranger danger even though I am the younger one here. As I pointed to my car, he then broke through the awkward zone and came offering his help, and ripped the half of the protector off and explained how it wouldn't cause a problem because that was only used as a protector.
It was then, i begun to drive more cautiously than usual that day, but at the same time felt lucky and thankful towards life. I mean how lucky am I to find someone who would actually offer help and come by an empty sidewalk. Today is a good day. Thank you lord, god, and budda, espeically mommy for blessing me on such a lovely thursday.
All I can say is...as a conclusion, there is hope for human kind! (haha jk its a joke conclusion, just ignore this line haha)
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
ριℓσт - lα doυleυr
Already at the edge of this autumn season, yet leaves struggle to apart from their branch. The sun is still yet shining so bright despite how the weather is. Coldness tends to cover up the whole land with the sun being stubborn as always, fighting it's way to shine its ray to the maximum. Making others feel its warmth and shine. With the passing of the long weekend, it seemed as if it was already the end of summer break once again. Going to school was no longer mandatory College, the first step into the real society following turning 18. Although, it's quite the opposite for me considering my birthday was two weekends ago. Did I feel any older you may ask. The answer is no. Who ever told you that turning a year older will make you wiser lied. If you yourself isn't ready for the change, no matter how old you are, inside, you are still the same age.
Putting that aside, with autumn coming to and end, thanksgiving following its footsteps catching up with us, I begin to start thinking. What am I thankful for this year? What am I thankful for in life? What am I thankful for all this 18 years?
I guess the biggest thank may be going to my current parents, baring with me all these 10, 11 years? Felt like I have been with them practically all my life. The truth is they really didn't have to take care of me at all. I am what they called a bastard child. A unwanted child, a child that came from an accident, a child that wasn't needed, a surprise. My current mother didnt have to take care of me, nor worry about me, or lecture me about things, after all I wasn't her child, and quite opposite, I would probably be the last kid she'd ever want to raise. Yet she took me in, adopted me, and make me an official family members of theirs. I know even though there is a huge treatment difference between her kids and grand kids she still treat me extremely nice for someone like that. And trust me, I am thankful for that. In fact I am really thankful for that. Not a lot of people can do things like that. But sometimes hanging around with my friends too much tends to influence me a lot and make me realize how much of a actual family feeling I am lacking. After my elementary years are over, my parents begin to separate and do things their way. No one each with each other anymore. No group cooking and chatting on the table while munching down food. Instead everyone is all for themselves. Sometimes it make me think a lot. Especially when i go to my friend's house. I begin to get jealous, not over their wealth, or how much things they own or how spoiled they are, but how wonderful of a family they have to care for each other and eat together and enjoy every moment of it.
I always wanted to do that. It always seemed so fun being able to do that. It use to be fun while we still do it. I guess you really do take things for granted until you lose it. Am I really asking too much though? Even though I know my mom isnt my real mom, but is asking her to trust me a bit too much? Do i really need to give in first for her to trust me? I mean first thing first, how am I suppose to give in when she herself doesn't even trust me in the first place? She said until i get a license, she will not allow me to drive. All my friends told me that the biggest part of their driving experience wasn't from the instructor, but the individual learning they got when their driving with their parents. And for me its quite the opposite. They rather pay for an additional 4 class and expect me to know how to drive and pass the test. Well, am I asking too much to wish for them to trust me more to a point where they'd let me drive and practice?
Each time when I complain things similar to this, when i relate my friends' families to mine, my parents would always bring up something unrelated to the topic we're on and tell me to think about this and that. Okay I get it, those were my fault, but we are talking about this topic, would you explain why you don't trust me on driving? How trusting someone with driving have anything to do with doing chores automatically? Would someone tell me how asking "do you need help?" is not a kind of offering to help? And can someone please tell me how "can i help you?" is a kind of offer unlike "do you need help?". Its quite ironic, because i do use both set of questions, but when i claim that their both the same she would tell me. "Why will you bother to even ask me? Instead you should have just clean it or do the chores straight away." Well geez, is a confirmation too much for you? Is asking for a confirmation rude in our Chinese culture? For the record, I am pretty sure it isn't And for your information mother, normally even my nephew, they wouldn't offer help often, and when they do, to you, THEY ARE THE POLITEST PEOPLE EVER, when the truth is, THEY SAY THE EXACT SAME THING AS ME! Well gee, how does that even make sense mother? Would someone please explain this logic to me? And also, please explain how all these questioning and not doing chores automatically without being asked to do them have anything to do with losing trust in a person and driving. Someone please enlighten me on this. Because apparently I am only thinking of excuses to make, and is too busy to realize my mistake in this. Well?
Putting that aside, with autumn coming to and end, thanksgiving following its footsteps catching up with us, I begin to start thinking. What am I thankful for this year? What am I thankful for in life? What am I thankful for all this 18 years?
I guess the biggest thank may be going to my current parents, baring with me all these 10, 11 years? Felt like I have been with them practically all my life. The truth is they really didn't have to take care of me at all. I am what they called a bastard child. A unwanted child, a child that came from an accident, a child that wasn't needed, a surprise. My current mother didnt have to take care of me, nor worry about me, or lecture me about things, after all I wasn't her child, and quite opposite, I would probably be the last kid she'd ever want to raise. Yet she took me in, adopted me, and make me an official family members of theirs. I know even though there is a huge treatment difference between her kids and grand kids she still treat me extremely nice for someone like that. And trust me, I am thankful for that. In fact I am really thankful for that. Not a lot of people can do things like that. But sometimes hanging around with my friends too much tends to influence me a lot and make me realize how much of a actual family feeling I am lacking. After my elementary years are over, my parents begin to separate and do things their way. No one each with each other anymore. No group cooking and chatting on the table while munching down food. Instead everyone is all for themselves. Sometimes it make me think a lot. Especially when i go to my friend's house. I begin to get jealous, not over their wealth, or how much things they own or how spoiled they are, but how wonderful of a family they have to care for each other and eat together and enjoy every moment of it.
I always wanted to do that. It always seemed so fun being able to do that. It use to be fun while we still do it. I guess you really do take things for granted until you lose it. Am I really asking too much though? Even though I know my mom isnt my real mom, but is asking her to trust me a bit too much? Do i really need to give in first for her to trust me? I mean first thing first, how am I suppose to give in when she herself doesn't even trust me in the first place? She said until i get a license, she will not allow me to drive. All my friends told me that the biggest part of their driving experience wasn't from the instructor, but the individual learning they got when their driving with their parents. And for me its quite the opposite. They rather pay for an additional 4 class and expect me to know how to drive and pass the test. Well, am I asking too much to wish for them to trust me more to a point where they'd let me drive and practice?
Each time when I complain things similar to this, when i relate my friends' families to mine, my parents would always bring up something unrelated to the topic we're on and tell me to think about this and that. Okay I get it, those were my fault, but we are talking about this topic, would you explain why you don't trust me on driving? How trusting someone with driving have anything to do with doing chores automatically? Would someone tell me how asking "do you need help?" is not a kind of offering to help? And can someone please tell me how "can i help you?" is a kind of offer unlike "do you need help?". Its quite ironic, because i do use both set of questions, but when i claim that their both the same she would tell me. "Why will you bother to even ask me? Instead you should have just clean it or do the chores straight away." Well geez, is a confirmation too much for you? Is asking for a confirmation rude in our Chinese culture? For the record, I am pretty sure it isn't And for your information mother, normally even my nephew, they wouldn't offer help often, and when they do, to you, THEY ARE THE POLITEST PEOPLE EVER, when the truth is, THEY SAY THE EXACT SAME THING AS ME! Well gee, how does that even make sense mother? Would someone please explain this logic to me? And also, please explain how all these questioning and not doing chores automatically without being asked to do them have anything to do with losing trust in a person and driving. Someone please enlighten me on this. Because apparently I am only thinking of excuses to make, and is too busy to realize my mistake in this. Well?
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