Brickwalls.

Behind each and every wall is a story. It may be a story of sadness or a story of happiness. But at this time, all these ever was is the story of sadness. Pure sadness.

      I always thought, your soul-mate  the person who you are bound to be with will understand you and match you in all sorts of ways, but then maybe I am wrong. After all, present, current, he isn't my soul-mate  Then again, we go back to the question, why did I leave my past behind if he was my soul-mate  Why did I think that he didn't fit for me? Why do I look down on him and all? The answers may be all buried in within my heart, probably even I will never figure out what's me thinking deep down in there. 

      Thinking that I was able to stop a fight by tears, the weakness of present, current. I was wrong. Things were getting back on track until he started saying how I embarrass him in front of my friends. I mean come on, what is there to be ashamed of. I responded jokingly like oh you lost your dignity long time ago, and with a serious reply, he tells me that, "It's not dignity, its pride." Same god damn thing. Its something you cared about what other people think of you with. I mean if you were to have so much pride in the first place you wouldn't be worrying now would you? No! 

      Current is a huge hypocrite, thinking that things should be all these and that, but when actually he doesn't even do it himself at times. He expect me to always be on his side and take it. Always and never talk behind his back or even say bad things about him. Like come on, that's what close friends do, but in this case, I have more than one close friends. Sigh, I really wonder where he stands now. I told him the truth  oh you never always stand for me, you don't always stand for me and you expect me to stand for you? Isn't that a bit ridiculous? Then  he tells me how offended he was when I call him a fob, and to be honest I think everyone knows this, and in fact none of them minded yet he did. Sometimes I just wanna slap myself to see if this is even actually real? I call him hyper sensitive because to be honest, if you're close with someone and tease them on their weakness, to be honest, you are sensitive, and that's totally fine. But not knowing or not coming to the conclusion of accepting it is unacceptable. 

      Maybe he will never realize this, maybe he have a lot of things to back up against me. Sometimes I just wish I am good at arguing with people like him and I can speak a piece of my mind without current disagreeing with me. 

Until next time.