Post Chinese New Year Hotpot

Once a year, Chinese family gathers around the dinner table, talking about new year resolution, catching up on things they thought they lost and retaining things they never had. However on this night, things are different. 

Hell. I don't know what's wrong with my sister. She's like bipolar and all those stuff. I mean it's one thing to be bossy but yelling like I'm all at fault is another thing. 

So during the new year dinner of hot pot. I asked for vermicelli because clearly there weren't any in the hotpot. And she was like its in the kitchen if you want it go get it. And I was like okay then, thinking never mind. Right then, she ordered, "go get it". I was like, okay, like gee thanks for trying to ask nicely, because I totally don't need to follow your order and get it. I walked over to the kitchen and gave it a quick glance and saw one last block of vermicelli left and thought oh okay here it is, and I brought it back to the dining room, poured it into the hotpot. Only to realize that everyone screamed. And my mom was like you need to put hot water in it first before placing it into the hotpot. Although everyone said "oh well just let it go" my sister came and grabbed it out of the pot saying that she soaked a bunch of blocks of vermicelli. And lead me to the kitchen saying, "if you don't know, ask. If you don't have the knowledge of it, at least you should have the common sense for this kind of things and ask." I'm like wtf? I did ask, and your the one telling me to go get it, and your the one who always tell me that I need to look for it rather than always asking you. Fuck. I can't please her every time she gets fucking irritated. Can someone teach me how to ease a bipolar in denial married with two kids two faced woman? How can she be so unthoughtful of the things she say? She tells others one thing and tells me the other. She is all nice and kind out side while treating others but leave no mercy when it comes to me. It's like, really now? Really? And for those who are blind like her, if I confront them, they will just be offended and all; what is the point? Truely. I feel like crying because if she can say those things like she meant it, I can't pretend I don't care about it. 

Bipolar over reactant sister

My sister, no offense, but constantly reminds me of someone that I don't want to become. From her emotional stressed state, to her emotionally angry state. Like okay I understand that your the head of this house and you have the power to yell and scream but please don't be dumping your emotional state on us. Like let's be honest, why was she dumping her emotion onto us and accusing us of not appreciting her work? I mean okay, first thing first, if no one eats much of it, it obviously means that it doesn't taste that good. Why are you trying to force people to like it? I mean it's by choice. My sister called out dinner and then follow that she's like get some rice and heat it up yourself, and sure enough there were other frozen left over food on the counter that she tooked out, so I just assumed it was a free for all. Then the next thing I know she started getting pissed off because I approached the purchased left over sticky rice that is probably a week old or if not, older rather than the sticky rice she made yesterday. Claiming that I am not appreciating her food, it's like what the hell? Eat this I get in trouble then why are you putting onto the table for free for all? And second, there were no other sticky rice I saw on sight. I mean my bad for not knowing there are sticky rice in the rice maker, and taking the one week old+ sticky rice would cause you to get furious. I mean shit, give me a break. Then she starts to get ticked off, I mean does yelling at other people make yourself feel better? I sure hope that you like being selfish. Shit. Thinking that you're all nice and all, think again. Holy shit. So after that she started saying "I'm pissed off this I'm angry that and ultimately I am so mad blah blah blah" like shit calm your anger, no one is arguing with you. God damn it, made all my appetite fade away. Like for reals. And if you're reading this some other time, well let's just assume you manage to actually find my blog, then let me tell you, I threw the portion of stick rice you made that I got on my plate away, because it was just too gross to swallow after all those things you stuff down all of us. Sigh. I mean is she pmsing? I sure hope she doesn't go on fucking medapause or else I think I would probably suffer from far depress. 

money value & family ; ℓα ∂συℓєυя *

      In the faces of jealousy  what do I see? An sister who is jealous of the amount of money that was gained from her younger sibling. Honestly, what's her deal? Okay first thing first, sister called in, at this hour, a week or so before christmas, maybe half of a week but anyways, asking me if I wanted to go with her to their in-laws' christmas party. Those rich party filled with people who had billions and billions of dollars saved into their bank account. She asked me if I wanted participate in their secret santa, and the deal was that the minimum purchase of a gift was $50 dollar. Like damn, do those rich people have no where else to spend their money? $50 dollar each? Please, I can go to universal studio with those kind of money. And then she comes and give me a talk about the spirit of giving, and how I don't have the spirit of giving. Well excuse me, my bad, gee, thinking that out of the whole entire family, your sister would know you the best, it turns out that she doesnt even know you as much as you think she does.
      In shock of hearing, $50 dollar as minimum purchase, I gasped, not knowing what in the world to do.Okay, I understand those people they play their games, because what? Because their rich, maybe $50 doesnt worth that much to them, but being raised in Monterey Park, $50 to me is kind of over the top. I mean shopping for gifts around $10 bucks around breaks my heart not to mention $20 or $30, but now $50? I guess its alright because what I am getting back is probably more than $50, but the honestly, really? Sometimes it just worries me how these kind of things works. I understand that every year I go to cindy's party, and I recieve her gifts every year and all, and two years ago, it was a necklace, a really pretty one from ingrid's favorite jewlery store, and last year was a $100 dollar gift card to a sporty kind of outfit store, and cindy especially told me that I need to call her about it and she will drive all the way here to take me to shop with her. Sometimes at moment like these, I wish my parents were more giving, in a sense.
      I understand that my sister is in a better place now, being married into a rich family, and having a high status compare to everyone else. I know she's more giving and probably have a bigger heart than any or probably everyone. But with that sense in mind, like really? Honestly, how do you live with yourself, think back, okay I dont get allowence like you do sister, back in the days you probably get $40 a week or maybe a month, but in my whole life, I only probably get $20 on a birthday, and that's about it. I sometimes really wonder, did money really change a person? Does the value of money change just because you live in a higher status? I mean really, you guys can totally pick up five roll of the quarters and buy their gifts, and those are just from the laundry machines itself. I dont get that kind of privilege.
      Sometimes I laugh at myself, trying to back up my family, try to blend in with them, when truthfully I dont blend in with anyone at all. And to be honest, I kind of dont want to blend in with them anymore. Not this family I am in now. Cindy, she is truely a nice person from heart, and god bless her. Vincent is a lucky husband, and also another nice person, god bless those two. They are like godly couples, beyond anything you can think or imagine.
      Throughout the whole conversation I had with my sister, all she said is how selfish I am and how disappointed she is, that I am not using the $2000 dollar I had in my bank for $50 dollar gift. Okay, those are my leg hit fee. Really? She's using that against me? I cannot believe it. Yeah, maybe in her eye, 50/2000 isnt a lot of loss, but then to me, that is a lot of loss. Too much in I sense that I dont want to lose it.
      I guess I will just have to cancel the winterbreak with her. I dont know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but then hey. If anything goes wrong, I guess Danny will be the one there for me, like he said, he will always be there for me. And I am forever grateful for him. I love him. I dont know how my world would turn out without him in my life right now. It probably would be quite painful. Oh the pain. Ha, so much for christmas. Well, what did I say about this year anyways? Its okay, its going to end soon anyways, before the wold starts.
      I look around, and I find myself where I started....